Ten Rounds with Wufei and Duo
by Validor
Summary: Songfic using "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo". Wufei gets smashed, and Duo helps out.


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any country music songs. I am not making any profit from this.   
  
Warnings: Story is for amusement only, do not expect to find morals or any meaningful angst. Slight 2+5 shonen-ai is used for humor. Rated PG-13 for lots of underage drinking, and one really nasty comment from Duo. I'm sorry, it's just something he would say.  
  
Ten Rounds with Wufei and Duo   
  
apologies to Tracy Byrd  
  
Wufei Chang was having a pretty crappy day. Oz troops ravaged the forests, jungles, and defenseless towns of his once-proud ancestral country, but he did nothing to stop it. There was nothing he could do. He was too weak to oppose the inevitable force of Treize Khushrenada. Even if he could do something, he wasn't worthy. What good would it do to win a rebellion if he was a less qualified ruler than the previous one? He wasn't even a good ruler of his own mind. That woman had been right. He was not strong enough to be a man. He hated himself, and he hated himself even more for sinking into the pathetic despair of self-loathing. There was only one thing to do…  
  
*Well I walked in the band just stunk  
  
The singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket*  
  
Wufei hated places like this, but there was no better place to get drunk. If he drank enough, he might not be able to hear the horrible American-country-wannabe band. A few people looked at him as he took a seat at the bar, and he ignored them. They were pathetic. People were dying out there on the battlefields, dying, just like…  
  
*Was on a mission to drown her memory but  
  
I thought no way with all this ruckus.*  
  
"What'll it be, stranger?" asked the bartender. Wufei just glared at him. Only a selfish, greedy person would make a living off of other people's weaknesses.  
  
"Somethin' strong, huh?" The man winked at him and took a bottle off of the shelf behind the bar. "Here's what you need."  
  
Wufei stared suspiciously at his drink. He'd never been too fond of alcohol, but he wasn't here to have fun. If it would get the job done…He took a gulp, and forced himself not to wince as it burned its way down his throat. The bartender chuckled. Wufei ignored him and concentrated on his drink. Hell, he sure didn't feel any different. He still hated the world, and himself, and—what was this song they were trying to play anyway?   
  
*But after one round with Jose Cuervo  
  
I caught my boots tapping long with the beat*  
  
Wufei nodded his head in time to the song, and then it ended. There were a few scattered claps, until the band started up again. Wufei raised his hand to order another round. This song was better than the last one. In fact, he couldn't remember ever having heard something that had made him feel quite this good. He smiled at the bartender.  
  
*And after two rounds with Jose Cuervo  
  
That band was sounding pretty darn good to me.*  
  
*Then some stranger asked me to dance*  
  
"Hey, Fei-baby!"   
  
Wufei looked over his shoulder to confirm that he really had heard that hideous voice. It was indeed Maxwell making his way through the smoky crowd to stand next to the bar.  
  
"Watcha doin' here, babe? I thought you'd be off meditating about killing Treize or something." The American leaned against the counter and smiled crookedly. Wufei pulled his drink closer to his chest. That thieving sneak would take it if he wasn't careful.  
  
"None of your business," he growled.   
  
"Okay, okay! Just askin'." Duo glanced around the room and hummed the tune the band was playing. To Wufei's horror, he then started swaying from side to side and moving his feet around. His very un-manly braid swung as if it had a mind of it's own, and it was hearing a completely different song from the one Maxwell was dancing to.  
  
"Hey, Wufei." The tone of his voice was serious, for once. Wufei chanced a look at him. "Wanna dance?"  
  
*And I revealed to her my two left feet*  
  
"%$&*!"  
  
*Said don't get me wrong I'm glad you asked  
  
But tonight's about me and an old memory.*  
  
"You know," said Duo in between gasps, "there are a lot of people gonna be pissed at you if I am permanently damaged."  
  
"*&^% you," said Wufei, and he ordered another drink.  
  
*Then after three rounds of Jose Cuervo  
  
I let her lead me out on the floor*  
  
Wufei was bouncing around on the barstool. "This song is pretty good, isn't it?"  
  
Duo sat up. Never one to surrender easily, he tried again to have some fun with his Chinese friend. "Yeah, it's real great to dance to. Wanna try?"  
  
"What the hell." To Duo's surprise, Wufei grabbed his hands and the two of them whirled into the middle of the room, barely missing tables and chairs and stumbling drunks. For a minute, Duo tried to dance with him, but he quickly gave up and stood out of the way.   
  
*And after four rounds with Jose Cuervo  
  
I was showing off moves never seen before.*  
  
"I sure never seen that before," said the bartender. "And he better not break any of those chairs."  
  
"Whoo-hoo! Take it off, Fei baby!" yelled Duo.  
  
*Well around five or 'round six  
  
I forgot what I came to forget*  
  
"I have to admit, Wufei, I was sure surprised to see you here." Duo, paying close attention to his own drink, was sitting on the floor next to his buddy, who was currently trying to rise to a position that would enable him to drink without choking.   
  
"What?" said Wufei.  
  
"I was wondering what you were doing here."  
  
"Why wouldn' I be here? Thish plashe ish great! Hey, bartender! More of thish shtuff!"  
  
  
  
*And after round seven, or was it eight?  
  
I bought a round for the whole damn place.*  
  
"I love you, Maxwell." Wufei's head was buried in Duo's shoulder, and Duo could've sworn he was crying.   
  
"It's okay. I know, I know. It's okay." He patted Wufei on the back.  
  
"But I love you! I love all the soldiers who fight for peace!" Wufei raised his head and shouted to the bar, "The warriors! The weak people we fight for! Yesh, even the weaklings! I love you all!"  
  
"Okay, Fei-baby, calm down…"  
  
"Alcohol for everybody!"  
  
Duo sighed. "I am going to have to suck so much cock to get us out of this."  
  
*And after nine rounds with Jose Cuervo  
  
They were countin' me out and I's about to give in*  
  
"No way he can drink another one," said a cowboy.  
  
"I dunno," said Duo. He bent over his inebriated friend. "How ya doin', Wufei? Want another one?"  
  
Wufei held out his hand to receive the next drink.  
  
"Ha ha!" yelled Duo. "That's ten bucks, buddy!"   
  
The man grumbled and reached for his wallet.   
  
*But after ten rounds with Jose Cuervo  
  
I lost count and started counting again*  
  
"Okay, it's time to go home now. Okay, Wufei?" Duo hauled him off the floor.  
  
"Bleargh!" said Wufei.  
  
*One round with Jose Cuervo*  
  
"Never," said Wufei, "ever, let me do that again."  
  
"Didn't you have fun, though?" Duo tried to help him out of the bar before the bartender asked about their tab.  
  
"I can't remember…"  
  
"Well, you had fun, then!"   
  
*I went two rounds with Jose Cuervo!*  
  
"Hey, boys! You gonna pay for all those drinks?"  
  
"Okay, Fei-baby, time to go."  
  
Gimme two rounds with Jose Cuervo  
  
How 'bout three rounds with Jose Cuervo! 


End file.
